Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I have so much to write, so much to tell, so little time cos I have already lost a lot of it. No. I am not dying, nor have I done anything mighty like save the world, nor did I bring home a homeless cat. My life is not what tales are made of, not yet anyway.

I had written down how my 1st internaltional holiday journey began on a small piece of paper, I realised I had written a whole page to describe a journey that lasted 3 hours. I realised its beautiful to have the window seat and watch how the horizon offers you a view of different coloured clouds at different altitudes and different timezones. I realised I have wasted a lot of time dozing off on journeys, any journey, for the last 23 years of my life. I realised I was nobodys different coloured cloud at different timezones. And last of all, I realised I need a plan in life.
What that plan is I have no clue as of yet, it changes the way the weather does, but no matter how tough it is, I need to get my bearings right soon. If I count the number of times I use "I" in any paragraph, I feel ashamed, so below is something I noticed on a rather small quick journey on a train.

With eyes full of adoration and a gaze full of love, a 11 year old took pride in accompanying his 5 year old brother on this particularly small train ride. He found a spot where one could sit, snug and comfortable next to an old man and let his brother take that seat. When the seat next to the young ones got vacant, the older brother took his seat and pulled out his playstation and passed it on to the little one. 5 year old and what a champ! He took to it like a fish to water and his brother looked on, with pride.

I had to get off at the station, but I couldn't help smiling at what I saw. It reminded me of my brother, who always stood up for me and always always gave me his full support. Stern when he needed to be, loving at all other times. And then when I hear of all the stories - full of pain and suffering, where one sibling either abandons the other, or moves away when it comes to "division of property", it breaks my heart. Were they never close? Could they just forget all the moments of love and joy and happiness, innocent times they shared for something as trivial as money?? Money does have a big role to play, but can you fight with someone who came into this world using the same passage as you did, and will leave the world the way you would. All that connects us, is love, and the one thing you don't want to die doing is regretting. Regretting that you didn't help, regretting why you walked away, regretting why you let your ego get in your way.

Families go way beyond, way deeper. Which is why I fail to understand why certain governments and private companies alike will not let you assign someone else be your beneficiary. Its almost always - Parents / Spouse / Child. I remember I wanted to put down my brothers name in one of these columns, but they said - Sorry, We dont take that risk. Many brothers have been known to murder for these reasons.All I want to end this with is, it is never too late to make amends. Just look back, and as long as the person is not a murderer or a rapist, think things through.

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